[Sorry for the picture spam. But you’re more than welcome if you like it.]
(Yes, I know. It’s been something like… two weeks since the convention. Procrastination.)
My bffs and I stayed in Lucca for 3 days (4, actually), Friday (Nov 1) to Sunday (Nov 3), to attend this year’s Lucca…
Kyoukai no Kanata ED - Daisy
Kyoukai no Kanata tab: Sorry about the typo in the pdf as well
You know what’s the worst feeling?
The feeling you get when someone makes you hate liking something you once enjoy.
And now it feels wrong to enjoy that thing…
In addition to my year-long reading challenge (first to read twenty-five books, then forty, now sixty), I’ve recently begun writing reviews on Goodreads for the books I read. They’re not the best in the world, and I feel a little self conscious about them, but it’s been a lot of fun. I don’t think I’ll share them all here, but I thought I might post one or two from time to time. Fair notice, this one contains a spoiler in the penultimate paragraph:
I’ve long felt a bond to Japanese culture. (Let’s not talk about the time when, after being asked about books I’d recently read during a job interview, I said I especially enjoyed contemporary Japanese literature. “You mean anime?” the interviewer asked, and I certainly didn’t get the job.) At least to me, it seems there’s a sort of bifurcation of spirits among many Japanese. Publicly, they’re stoic, reserved, but there’s also a vivacity and bold eccentricity to their culture, which is depicted quite well in Lost in Translation.
Due to, I’m sure, a number of factors, Japan also has an especially high suicide rate. I spent a few weeks in Tokyo visiting my brother, who taught English to salarymen and housewives for a now-defunct company. I tagged along one evening. An older female student began to sob during the lesson. She wasn’t just practicing the language when she wailed, “my heart is blue.”
That always stuck with me, and months later my brother told me that she had killed herself.
For years I was prone to the sort of abject misery that I now realize plagues many teenagers and post-adolescents, but it felt like the most special and heaviest and worst thing ever. I spent most nights crying on the floor of my bedroom, scrawling desperately in my journals, listening to the saddest songs, hating myself. It felt isolating and awful, and I was sure I was the only one who felt this way.
Books that explore depression and self-esteem issues, then, tend to speak to me, allowing for an increasing realization that, hey, I’m not alone in this. (Also, I’m a lot better now. High five!) Yozo’s depression extends deeply enough that he feels that he isn’t at all human, completely distanced from his contemporaries, even those with whom he is, in some ways, friends. He drifts from place to place and woman to woman, incapable of caring for himself, broke, and plagued by issues and addictions.
Yozo masks his insecurities by acting like a clown, making jokes and calculating actions that will amuse others. His relationships with his family, friends, benefactors, and lovers are complicated, and though he enjoys some success professionally, drawing cartoons for children’s magazines as well as pornographic ones (under a pseudonym, natch*), he sees his dreams as generally unattainable.
Suicide figures into the plot at a few points, and as a reader, I certainly felt a sort of warmth toward Yozo, despite his not necessarily being a very sympathetic character. Still, I couldn’t help but laugh at his last (unsuccessful) suicide attempt, in which his caretaker provided him with a bottle of requested sleeping pills—in fact, laxatives. It was a tragicomic ending for our poor, belabored protagonist.
*In one bit of dialogue, Osamu Dazai uses the word natch, and explains that it was in vogue at the time. I’m fascinated by the translation process and would love to know if there’s a similar truncation of the Japanese word for naturally. Anyone?
book cover photo via wikipedia
I really recommend that everyone reads this book.
Been watching and reading too much dark shit.
Have a cute cat to make you feel better.
Does anyone know where I can get raw’s for the Attack on Titan Special episodes. The Special Squad’s one, with the chibis?
Supercell officially released their new single today!
Therefore, I tabbed the short MV version to the best of my ability for tonight and then I will have a proper short MV this weekend. I will hopefully get the full tab out when I work out the solo.
SO looking forward to the new album
Any requests send them this way; I discover cool new music.
Enjoy the full version minna~ ♥
Tehisther announces MIni Vocaloid album.
Don’t normally boost stuff, but this guy is amazing. Also, it’s a supercell song. I really want the sheet music.